My how time flies when you’re living existing in a fog of sleep deprivation! Writing a blog does fall by the wayside when it takes everything you have just to get through the day. I’m turning out to be a useless blogger! (not to mention an unproductive member of the workforce, a useless friend who doesn’t even know what is happening in her friends lives, a lazy, snappy wife who looks terrible all the time…) And this has been dragging on for so long I’m scared that by the time this phase is finally over I’ll “wake up” and find myself to be a stranger in my own life, an unemployed one at that. Maybe I’m being overly dramatic but it feels like life is passing me by while I wander round in my sleepless daze, neglected friends are drifting away from me, I feel isolated and frustrated at my inability to achieve anything, almost as though I’m fading away.
We’ve had periods of sleeping through, or near sleeping through at least, but we’ve also had prolonged periods of waking up every hour throughout the night, refusing to go to sleep, refusing to go back to sleep. This current phase has been going on since he turned one. That was four months ago. I just don’t know what’s going on, I don’t understand why – what causes him to wake up in the night and then proceed to stay awake for anything up to four hours – demanding my attention for the entire period? Is he too warm? Too cold? Hungry? Thirsty? I just don’t know! Why won’t he go back to sleep? I don’t want to do the old “cry it out” but one thing is for certain, we can’t keep going on like this.
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