Like most mums I often feel a bit overstretched
(hehe, this sounds like the beginning of an advert! But I digress…) After a day
spent either at work or caring for Taters, once his bath is out of the way and
I’ve finally managed to convince him to go to sleep (which some nights can take
up to an hour) there really isn’t much time for anything else. Once tea is prepared and eaten and the house
is tidied, chores are completed: there’s little time and energy left for
anything other than a little slump in front of the TV, perhaps a bath and then
bed.
I certainly don’t resent the time I have with
Taters, not for one minute, I absolutely love it, and I adore the family time
together when it’s the three of us (me, Taters and his Daddy), or when we go
out with family or friends too – that’s just magic.
What bothers me is all the things I need to fit
into that little pocket of free time, it just isn’t possible – cleaning the
house, washing pots, washing clothes, putting clothes away, weeding the garden
etc. And once those tedious things are out of the way there’s all the things I
actually want to do – like have quality alone time with my husband, catching up
with friends, yoga and exercise in general, writing, painting or something else
arty, blogging, reading, researching the family tree… just putting my feet up
with a cup of tea and a magazine. How can I fit all this in? How? Argh!!
Therein lies to cause of my stress!
A little time management is called for here – I
know the key to happiness to look at the things that make you the happiest and
prioritise your life around these (yes, I read that in a blog). For me that is the
following:
·
Quality Taters time – this already is the main priority: when I’m
not at work, and when he’s not asleep, that is Taters time.
·
Quality family time – again, at weekends this already takes
precedence.
·
Time alone with my husband - we have decided that weekend evenings are to be designated couple
time (perhaps takeaway and a DVD), on top of that we're aiming at a monthly evening out together, and a separate
monthly day out just the two of us.
·
Seeing friends – I’ve already improved tremendously on this, the
odd evening when Taters is asleep here, the odd Saturday afternoon there…
·
Some creative pursuit or other. For this I am designating week day
evenings. I’m going to have to make an effort, do what the
Why Don’t You kids were telling me to do years ago – switch off the TV and do
something less boring instead. I need a little self discipline on this one.
These are the things I want to spend my
time on. House work might feel important, but it isn’t going to lead to
fulfilment now is it?
So, my mission now is to minimise or obliterate things
that eat up my precious free time and get in the way of doing these things:
1. Housework
I don’t want to live in squalor but I also need
to cut down the time I spend on it. So how? Well, I have a few ideas.
The
Domestic God-help-us Guide to Housework (and how to spend as little time on it
as possible!):
·
I hereby give myself permission to live out of baskets – putting
clothes away just takes too long, sod it, I’m going to be controversial here
and when those clothes come off the washing line, I’ll fold them up (well, I
might…) and put them in the basket – but then I’m not going to worry about
putting them away. I don’t iron anyway so that’s not an issue.
·
Cooking – what’s wrong with frozen veg anyway? It’s already
prepared, it hasn’t been decaying on a shelf or in a cupboard/fridge for days
on end so maybe it’s even better for you (I don’t know the science). Either way
it’s a time saver. I’m not the sort of woman who loves spending time in the
kitchen, it isn’t going to happen – so quick but healthy gets a thumbs up from
me. And since I’m rubbish at portion sizes anyway, put the extra in the freezer
and eat it another day. Oh I know that isn’t rocket science but somehow I still
haven’t managed it yet. Time to start!
·
I really, really need to learn to pick up after myself and tidy up
as I go along. It will make life much easier in the long run.
·
Then on a Saturday morning, let Daddy take Taters out for an hour
or two and run around like a loon hovering, dusting, cleaning the bath room –
whatever, just getting the house in decent shape. An hour or two once a week,
that’s not so bad is it? Perhaps once a month give it a full on blitz so we
genuinely aren’t living in squalor. I think I can live with that.
·
Unfortunately there’s not much I can do about dirty pots since I
haven’t the room or the money to afford a dishwater. Grrrrr!
·
Gardening – woodchips would keep down the weeds – job’s a good ‘un!
I do need to realise that my house is never
going to be immaculate, not unless I sacrifice something else, either time with
my son or husband, or yoga or doing something creative or interesting. I’m not
prepared to sacrifice these things for an immaculate house. So forget perfect, aim
for good enough. Chuck in the occasional bonus chore say if I’m waiting for
someone to come round and fix the boiler or whatever, but I think that could
work just fine.
2. Work
or The Art of Making Work Work for You
I can use this time more efficiently – get in
some exercise at lunch time with a walk around the block (thereby no need to
stress about no longer having gym membership) – I can take the stairs to the
office. I can utilise rainy lunchtimes or quiet work days to catch up with blog
reading and writing. I can use the time stuck on the bus in traffic to read
books. I can’t avoid work, but I can make better use of the time there.
3. Laziness (for want of a snappier
term)
It is with great sadness I have come to realise
that in order to achieve anything it’s time to ditch the long soaks in the
bath (lovely as they are) Face it, I could put that time to better use – i.e.
creative pursuits.
Also I need to stop getting sucked in by
mindless, rubbish TV programmes – once you start watching, the old brain
switches off and before you know it, it’s time for bed and you’ve done nothing
productive with your evening whatsoever.
4. Put a few things on the
backburner for now
Accept my time is limited and some things need
to be let go of right now. Better that than be dragged down by the stress of
not achieving them.
-
The aim of keeping the house immaculate and up to other people’s
standards – forget it, it’s not going to happen
-
Meditation time – I think yoga is close enough for now.
-
Swimming / gym classes – no time for unless I want to sacrifice
sleep. Instead work in aerobic exercise to the general day – brisk walks up the
hill with the buggy, walk to work, walk at lunchtime...
And relax……….
And finally, a special note for relaxing.
Because if I’m going to put in all this extra effort into leading the good
life, then I really need to make sure I have some genuine, relaxing down time
too. I figure I can squeeze in a yoga session every other evening when it's my
husbands turn to put Taters to bed. That will help me relax as well as keeping
me in shape. I also plan to use Taters naps for pure, guilt free chill out time
– the perfect time to read a magazine and have a cup of tea. My weekend
evenings with the hubby are also chance for us to relax and watch a film
together… time to relax isn’t something I plan to sacrifice – that would just
be stupid.
Also, the occasional long soak in the bath when
it’s really needed is just fine – just bring out the candles and the bath bombs
and make it something special…
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